Saturday, April 27, 2013

I don't see it that way

I am afraid of things like rollercoasters, spiders, and people who don't know the merits of Q-tip.

I am not afraid of exploring the globe by myself.

Since more than a few people have commented on my bravery in regards to this trip, I wanted to take the time to explain how I feel about this.

I'm not brave; not even close. To me, bravery lives in a firefighter, an high-altitude skier, a cancer survivor. The only time I feel brave is when I muster a moment of courage to crush the life out of a spider that has rudely invaded my apartment. Feeling brave while exploring a city in a foreign country would never even occur to me.

Truth be told, the only moment of  even slight hesitation I had came in the early morning hours while walking through the Munich airport during my layover. "Holy shit what am I doing?" At that point it was too late to turn back, nor did I want to. I silenced my tiny anxieties and allowed myself to feel what it was like to be back out in the world again. And then I paid for my croissant in dollars because my hunger trumped my search for foreign currency.

Is the fact that I consider myself to be a wise traveler the reason for feeling so comfortable and unafraid? Perhaps that's part of it. What I really think is that I just wasn't born with that gene. I wasn't born with the genetics of geographical complacency. And if I was, my parents did one heck of a job naturally suppressing it.     
My sense of independence has always been strong; blame that on being an only child or simply just the person I grew into. Yes, I've lived for an extended time in Asia, but even then it's not like I looked at what I was doing as brave. I was doing what I wanted to do. I was furthering my life by seeing the world: expanding my horizons by listening to the stories of others, becoming stronger by being separated from the people I loved the most, finding new people to love.

If it is not in you to break away from your comfort zone, let me do it for you. Your interest and your input keeps me connected, and for that I am grateful. 

No comments:

Post a Comment